Diamond Dust and Eagles' Wings

This boulder is cold and grimy against my bare legs.

Why did I think my out of shape body could hike up this three-mile mountain?

I lost sight of my twin daughters a few minutes ago. Frustration, dirt, and rocks feel like my only companions now as I sit here and sulk.

Red, gold, and yellow trees beckon me to soak in their beauty. Tears roll down my cheeks. This mountain is not a haven. It’s a vertical obstacle course for this weary body and soul. Even the birds are getting on my nerves.

Lord, I’m sorry. This weekend has been an incredible experience. But my heart is heavy with so much garbage. I don’t know what to do.

As the afternoon sun peeks through the leaves, rocks at my feet begin to sparkle. I rub my eyes wondering if I’m hallucinating. In all my years in the mountains, I’ve never seen this before. Further inspection reveals tiny flakes scattered across the ground.

While admiring the sparkling mystery, a butterfly lands near my feet. Its nimble legs perch on a smooth round stone. I feel the Holy Spirit whisper, Take that stone to the top.
Lord, I can’t make it to the top.

Yes, you can, if you trust me . . .  those who trust in the LORD will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they shall run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint . . .

Lord, what does that really mean?

As the butterfly floats away, I pick up the stone and take one step. Then another.
Wings like eagles pulses through my heart.

The vertical trail shimmers with the tiny flakes, flakes resembling diamond dust.
Lord, are you illuminating the path before me?

Wings like eagles. One more step.
Deep breath.
Wings like eagles. One more step.

I struggle around a steep curve. Then stop.

Deep breath.

Glancing down, I notice an abundance of the diamond dust. I kneel and pick up a few flakes. Fascinating. They don’t sparkle in my hand. Resting against my skin, they appear almost transparent but dirty and damaged. I drop them.

Floating to the ground, the sparkle returns. Sunlight reflects off their tiny fragile frame.
I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life . . .  My damaged life can only reflect God’s light when I trust Him and let go.

I scoop up some flakes and nestle them against the smooth stone in my hand.

Wings like eagles. One more step.

The trail levels out just a little. There are voices in the distance. My pace quickens.

The joy on my daughters’ faces as I step through the woods and onto the platform is priceless.

“Mom, you made it!”

Breathless, sweaty, and exhilarated, I inhale the beauty that stretches out before me. Standing high above the colorful mountains provides a sense of indescribable tranquility. This is worth every painful step.

My daughters examine the tiny flakes and stone while I recount my journey up the
mountain. We take pictures.

“I’m throwing this stone off the mountain. It represents all the baggage I’ve carried too long.”’

Lord, take my burdens. Cleanse my heart. Remove all that hinders my walk with you. Guide my steps and teach me to accept Your grace as I trust You with my whole heart.

I fling my burdens into the wilderness.
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Evening settles in, and our room becomes quiet. I inspect the photographs taken on the mountain. I gasp. 

“Girls, look at this!”

I show them the photograph in which I’m holding one of the flakes as the stone rests on the platform’s railing. The stone is glowing — a bright white light is beaming directly onto the stone.  That heavenly light had not been in the camera lens when the photograph was taken.

As I meditate on the experience, Psalm 27:1 comes to mind, “The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?”
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Within a few months of the mountaintop experience, which occurred in September 2018, my family and I face one of the most difficult challenges we have ever encountered. Diamond dust and eagles’ wings whisper encouragement as baby steps of faith navigate my new reality. Over the next several weeks I hope to share with you the three-year journey on which the Lord taught me to live by faith. I pray this journey will encourage you in whatever crises you may be facing. Sometimes I may be too transparent, but if that transparency helps just one person come to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, the discomfort in sharing is worth every tear.